Hopeless Crush
by Le-Fantome-de-l'Kan
Summary: Story of a girl who is hopelessly infatuated with a bus driver.
1. Chapter 1

Well here goes...

The first time I saw Him was during summer. I took summer school after 11th grade. He was our bus driver. Bus 98, I think it was. He wore a T-shirt and khaki shorts, a cap, and sunglasses. That was His trademark look. I started noticing Him because He had a nice face. Well I couldn't really see His eyes because of the sunglasses but just his face looked cute. I thought He would be ugl-well not very good looking because when people take of their sunglasses they don't look very nice. But one day He didn't have his sunglasses on and boy was I in for a surprise. He was really really cute. Even without the sunglasses. His eyes were bluish-green...I'm not a very flowery person but yeah His eyes were pretty.

At the moment I didn't think much of Him just that He had a nice face and beautiful eyes and nice skin (I hope that doesn't sound creepy lol). I didn't speak to Him. Just the usual "thank yous" you say when you get off the bus.

Days passed by. First session of summer school ended. I think He was still the bus driver for second session but the class I was taking was a semester course so I only needed one session of summer school.

Anyways, school started again. Buses kept changing for the first few weeks. I got Him as a bus driver for a few days.

One day there was no one on the bus. Buses had changed...again. I was the first one there. I had heard Him speak before and He had this cute accent. Sounded like eastern European..Russian-ish accent. I went over and over in my head about how to properly ask Him where he was from.

"Are you from Ukraine?" I finally got the courage to ask him.

I said Ukraine because a couple days ago a plumber guy or refrigerator fixing guy came and his accent was similar and he was from Ukraine.

"No. Bulgaria."

"Cool." Cool? Really? You couldn't have said something better?

After that I quietly sat down and didn't open my mouth again...I wish I had asked Him what His name was...

Students kept asking Him if He was gonna go this route or that route. He kept directing them to the right buses. He glanced at me and chuckled so cutely.

"Everyone's confused."

I didn't say anything...I wish I had.

I don't remember if that was the last time the buses changed. But I have no memory of Him being my bus driver again.

I started missing Him. I wanted to see Him again. I don't love Him...I believe that to love someone you need to know them, their thoughts, the little things about them that's so them.

But I don't know Him. At all. I don't even know His name. And He's probably in His 20s...He looks young. I'm 17. Yeah very illegal. But I don't lust after Him lol. And I don't want Him to lust after me either. That's just weird. I just want Him to like me the way I like Him.

I don't know if "like" is the right word...it might be...I have a crush? I'm infatuated with Him? I like His beautiful face and accent that just kills my heart?

Call me shallow but that is one pretty man. I guess it's His face that's making me like Him? But isn't that how it starts? You like something about them at first and then you want to get to know them more?

I don't know...

Last Wednesday He was my bus driver again. Only for the morning pick up. I was so happy. It felt like my prayers had finally been answered. I had been thinking about Him a lot and daydreaming the conversations we would have if I ever had Him as a bus driver again.

Well I got what I wanted...He came to pick us up...but I couldn't talk to Him because my friend was waiting for me right in front of the bus. I don't think I have ever felt dislike for her as much as I did that day.

I wanted to talk to Him...ask His name...but I couldn't because I didn't want my friend asking why I wanted to know His name... I guess I'm a chicken. Hah.

I wanted to take the bus on Thursday to see if He was gonna show up again. But there was a storm warning so my mom drove me to school...same thing on Friday too. I will never know if He had come.

My favorite part of the day is when I'm walking to buses after school is out. I get to see Him then. It's only for a few seconds but it's Him. And my heart just clenches because He's right there but I will never get to talk to Him...or know His name...hear His voice one more time...

It makes me want to cry. I curse the people who made up the bus schedule and routes and assigned the drivers. But mostly I curse at myself for not taking the chance when I had it. For the days I didn't take the bus when it could have been Him who was driving it.

One day (Friday?) the bus I take was right next to His. I guess I "checked" Him out...or more specially His clothes. He was wearing a burgundy sweatshirt and long khaki pants and His signature cap. He looked good.

On Tuesday I got to see Him in His full height...when He wasn't sitting in the driver's seat. He really isn't that tall is He? It made me laugh. But that made Him even cuter in my eyes. He was wearing long khaki pants again and His cap. Don't really remember the top because I was too busy staring at His beautiful face.

I guess He was talking to my bus driver. I don't know. I curse my band teacher for delaying the usual time I get out of class. If I had been there a couple seconds earlier I could have been near Him and actually measured if He was taller than me or same height. Lol. But I think He's same height as me. Or shorter? I don't know...

In my mind I was imagining why He went to talk to my bus driver. Best case scenario, He was asking if He could take over the last stop in my bus's route. Worst case scenario, He was simply having casual conversation.

Which one seems the most likely? Yeah, I thought so too.

It's not like I have anything against my current bus driver. He's actually very nice. The stop is like 8 mins away from my house but he takes me and other students right up to their street.

They're not really supposed to do that but he's just that nice. So yeah don't have anything against him but I would be happier if it was the cute, Bulgarian bus driver.

My usual bus driver from bus 94 wasn't there after school today...we had minimum day...finals and all you know? So he probably had another job or didn't know about the minimum day or something.

I looked around, just walking around the buses, hoping He would be my bus driver today. This one girl asked Him about my route number...He said no. My heart fell. I walked to the side area and waited for my bus. Instead of the usual bus we got a different bus driver. Bus 101 I think.

I saw this post on facebook that was from from tumblr...the one about having the power to manipulate probability.

I wish I had that power. What is the probability He's going to be my new, permanent bus driver?

100%

Tomorrow is the last day before winter break. I won't be seeing Him for awhile now...maybe I will get over this infatuation...but I don't really want to. It is a wonderful feeling to have... Everyday I'm filled with hope. But it is also bad because everyday my hope is crushed.

This is also my last year in high school. I will be one sad creature when I graduate.

But there's plenty of time in between for me to learn His name.

I will finally be able to put a name to that beautiful face.


	2. Chapter 2

This happened on Wednesday...before the "storm" on Thursday. When I saw Him again. When I felt such dislike towards my friend. And myself, for being so cowardly.

I don't think all school districts do this but mine has this thing called late-start Wednesdays.

I didn't mention it before but the bus that comes to pick us up for school is different from the bus that drops us off. Different drivers too.

In the morning, a lady comes to pick us up in bus 144. She is usually...well...always late. Like maybe about 30 mins late. So according to the bus schedule the bus would arrive at 6:23 but it actually comes around 6:55. So us students just show up at the stop around 6:45-ish.

I had just started taking the bus that week so I didn't know if the bus would be just as late (30mins) on Wednesdays too. I assumed it would be.

Horrible mistake.

The bus would "arrive" at the stop at 8:23 but it would be late, so I can just get there later. At least that's what I thought.

I left the house at 8:35. As I got near (still had 3 blocks to go) I saw that some students were already standing there. I felt like I had miscalculated. Within a few seconds, the big, yellow bus rounded the corner.

My heart sank and I thought I would miss the bus. Fortunately, the bus stopped kinda far back from where the other students were gathered so it took awhile for them to walk over and get on the bus.

I was making my legs work over time. In a way I was "powerwalking" but without the swings of the arm. I just put my head forward and stared at the ground and walked like I was floating.

As I got near the bus I realized with a sinking feeling that it wasn't bus 144...it was 89! That was the bus He drove!

Fuck.

I didn't expect Our meeting to be like this.

Thankfully He waited for us. Yes, us. Because apparently I wasn't the only late arrival. There were two other kids behind me. But I got there first. So out of breath, feeling like I would have a heart attack right on the spot.

"Good morning," He said smiling...(err laughing at me?)

"Hi," I whispered, still trying to catch my breath.

I hurriedly found an empty seat, across and a seat behind my friend's.

"I thought you were gonna miss the bus," my friend said.

"Me too," I replied.

The bus started moving after the other two kids got on.

I couldn't believe my luck. It was as if my feelings for Him had been heard and luck was finally smiling at me.

I so wanted to sneak glances at Him but instead I took out my book. _ 1984_. And started reading the chapter my English teacher had assigned us.

I'm the type of person that usually gets motion sickness if I try reading but that day I was able to read in a moving vehicle. Probably from the excitement of seeing Him early in the morning. Hah!

Too soon the bus arrived at the school. I slowly put away my book, turned off the music on my phone, took out my ear phones, put them in my backpack, and put the phone in my pocket.

I was doing everything I can so I would be the last person to get off.

Success!

As I started walking down the aisle, I realized that my friend was waiting for me and I wouldn't be able to say much to Him except a meager "Thank you."

So that's what did.

I think about different things I could have done to be able to speak to Him without my friend hearing everything I said.

In one such fantasy I "accidentally" leave the book _1984 _on the bus. I would be the last one to get off. And as I walked away with my friend, after say about 10-15 feet, I would "remember" that I left my book on the bus. I would tell my friend to go on ahead and give her my clarinet case so she would have no choice but to go (I'm such a horrible friend). I would walk back to the bus (run if it had already started moving). I would say "Sorry. Forgot something." I would hurriedly go back to the seat I was previously sitting in, get the book, and walk back towards the door. I would catch His eye in the mirror and give Him an "embarassed" smile. I would apologize again and walk down the steps toward the door. As I am almost off the bus I would turn around and ask Him what His name was. When did He come to the US from Bulgaria. Did He come with His family? His parents? Or (god forbid) His wife and children? Does He remember me from summer school? Does He go to college? How old is He? I would have told Him that He had very pretty eyes and that I liked His accent.

But the sad truth is I probably wouldn't have the courage to even initiate this Operation Talk-to-the-cute-guy. Even if I did, what if my friend decided to be a good friend (like she already is) and wait for me or better yet walk back to the bus with me? What if He doesn't see me and drives away with my _1984_ book? What if He does see me and stops the bus but He's not as friendly as I had hoped?

Alright the last one isn't as plausible because He is pretty nice...I mean he waited for me and the other kids so he must he nice right? Right? I hope so...

But the one what if that gets to me is what if He sees me as a creepy, crazy girl that asks too many personal questions? What if He decides to label me as "Do not talk to this creature ever again"?

All these what ifs weigh me down...

It would be a lot easier if instead of picking us up for school, He would drop us off after. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my friend. I could just use my pretend-to-be-slow-like-an-old-lady tactic and be the last one to get off and still be able to ask all those questions without having to "leave" my book. I probably wouldn't add the last bit about the eyes but I would definitely say something (positive of course!) about the accent because c'mon that dude has one smexy accent combined with one smexy voice.

But all this is just a fantasy. To change it into reality I have to get through Christmas break with my heart still intact. And when school does start, pray to god that I get Him (the guy, not god lol) as a bus driver again.

Until then this fantasy will remain just that. A fantasy.

But I want it to be more than that.


	3. Chapter 3

******A/N Obviously I'm not going to use the actual name of the stop so I put it as W and N. And obviously I don't need to tell you that the names I have used so far (have I only used one? I think so o.O) aren't the actual names...or are they? Mwahaha xD. But don't worry when I find out His name I will use the real name ;P**

Bus 98.

That's the bus He was driving today.

My usual bus driver Paul wasn't here. Guess he's still enjoying his holidays.

When I walked out of the building after school I saw that some of the people that took my bus were just standing around looking like lost ducks.

I didn't know yet that Paul and bus 94 weren't here today, so I decided to check at the end of the bus line to see if he was there. Good thing I did because His bus and His beautiful self were right in the way when I went to check. I was looking at Him but just as soon, I looked away quickly, but out of the corner of my eye I saw that He had glanced my way. My heart surged with giddiness.

After I found that Paul wasn't here I went up to bus 50 because as you all know (probably) that's the bus I would have taken if Paul hadn't added my stop to his route.

Have I mentioned how the bus 50 driver looked like? If not, then here goes...he looks like the cab driver from Sherlock. Yes the one who took people to abandoned buildings and made them choose between the two tablets. "A Study in Pink" I think it was called. So yeah the bus driver wears the same kind of hat...that's probably the only reason he looks like the cab driver from Sherlock. Other than that, he looks like a nice, old man whose grandchildren call him 'granpa' and run up to him while he picks them up and does the turning around thing... Well you get the idea...

Anyways!

The bus driver from bus 50 told me that Paul was supposed to be the driver for the stop I was inquiring about.

I said, "He's not here right now. Do you know if he's gonna be here today?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"That's alright. Thank you."

I was kinda happy that he didn't know. This meant that I had an excuse to talk to Him. I walked upto His bus...avoiding eye contact before I had to talk to Him.

When I got to the open door, for a second I just looked at Him...admiring His beautiful eyes and beautiful face and His signature outfit.

It didn't take that long to look over. Just one big gulp of cuteness.

When I stood in front of the door, we just smiled at each other.

"Hi," I said, "are you going to *W and N?"

"No. That will be bus 59."

My heart sank but I was happy with just being able to talk to Him.

"Okay. Thanks."

I walked away to bus 59.

When I got on the bus I saw that I was the first person. Deja vu. Lol. The bus driver, if I remember correctly, was the same one who picked us up today.

He asked me what my stop was. I told him *W and N. He misheard me so I had to tell him again. He seemed confused (poor guy, probably his first day). So I went up to him and told him how the regular driver for this route had added my stop to the route.

The bus driver had this packet that had all the stops and how to get there. He flipped to the last page and sure enough there it was. W and N. My stop's name.

We waited for other students to get on but nobody else got on. I guess they didn't ask around like I did or they asked the wrong person and they didn't have a clue as to who was supposed to drive that route.

Anyway!

I was the only one on the bus so it was kinda awkward but I made little conversations with the bus driver.

His name was Yakov. He was Russian. Came here 10 years ago.

Can't believe those three sentences are the only thing I learned lol. It felt like we talked more. Oh! Right...we talked about the routes and if he should turn left now or go straight. Lol.

When he had mentioned Russia I did this thing where you go "Ohhh Russia."

I guess he thought it was because I knew someone from Russia because he asked me that ( if I knew anyone from Russia).

I replied, "No. But I know another bus driver who's from Bulgaria."

I think he misheard me and thought I said I was from Bulgaria because when I told him my name he seemed confused...again. lol. He asked me if my name was Bulgarian.

"No. It's a Nepalese name." I was gonna leave it at that but I was pretty sure he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. So I added, "It's a small country between India and China."

I'm pretty sure he didn't hear me because he seemed pretty focused on the road (which he should be...I mean it would be bad if we got into an accident).

Oh! I remember...he said he was from Siberia. He pronounced it like how Americans pronounce it.

I had recently watched a video on YouTube by this Ivan guy from Siberia. He always started his videos like "Hello everybody. My name is Ivan. I'm from Siber. ( I think the -ia part at the end was silent or something...I don't know...but he pronounced it differently).

So I asked the bus driver, "Is that how you pronounce it? Siberia? Or is it Siber?"

He said that over there they pronounce it Siber(ia) but in America they pronounce it Siberia.

"Ohh."

I won't bore you with details about how we got to my stop but since I was the only one there we got there a whole 10 minutes early! Nice!

To be honest though 10 minutes doesn't really make a lot of difference in my day to day life of homeworks and games.

Anyways! That's it for today folks. I still don't know His name but as I said a couple chapters earlier..I will know it before I graduate. I will make sure of that.


End file.
